Today I went to a funeral for a great man and a great family. It was extremely sad and he will be missed very much.
The rosary the night before, yes, I said an entire rosary, and Nana is probably in heaven with a huge smile. While saying 400 Hail Mary's and 10 Glory Be To the Father and 100 Our Father's, I got to thinking: This is not what I want when I die.
First off, I don't want a open casket unless I look smoking hot. Hopefully, they put lots of Botox in my face and make me look great. I've spoken with my friend and sister and told them they are in charge of picking out my outfit. Jeans and a black sweater. I'm sure the funeral home will want me in a flowery dress, but please, jeans and a sweater is way more me. (Please put my zebra pumps on too. They were cheap enough to put in the ground, but they hurt my feet WAY too much to wear while I'm alive.)
Secondly, no rosary. Just have a pastor say a prayer. Preferably, Doug Fields, then the people who know me well will know what I'm thinking while I lay there!
Thirdly, the day of the service, please have Miley Cyrus' Party in the USA playing and have Thatcher stand there and do the entire song in sign language. That will truly make me happy! Followed by a little Lady Ga Ga Bad Romance and then Tic Tok (for Thatch) and some Led Zeppelin and have everyone get up and dance. (Julie, it is also your job to update the play list accordingly with whatever is top 40 if these songs are not what's playing now.)
Tell stories of how much fun we had together. Any stories that are funny or bring back happy memories. (Julie, your job is to make sure mom doesn't bring up the pumpkin patch picture.)
Tell my kids how lucky they were to have me for mom. And the guys that didn't want to date me that it's way too late now.
Ok, that's my check list.
(If you can find the guy below to come do the sign language instead of Thatch, I would be happy).
Friday, April 16, 2010
Sunday, December 13, 2009
Happy Happy Joy Joy
My New Year's resolution is to be happy. That, amongst 5 or 6 other things, is what I am resolving to do this year.
I Googled a few tips on how to happy, and starting tomorrow, I will do at least two on the list of ideas.
You should too!
Smile a lot - If smiling is too hard for you, take a pencil and hold it with your teeth. There are enough smiling muscles involved for your brain to think you are smiling and start producing “happy” chemicals.
Sing! - Singing works just like smiling, causing your body to produce “feeling good” chemicals. Sing in the car, sing in the shower, sing when you prepare dinner and sing when you feel frustrated and notice how the negative feelings melt away.
Hang around positive people - Having happy people around you will make it easy to learn happiness. Happy people have fun around them and their ability to overcome challenges is higher than that of unhappy people who tend to lay blame and feel victimised. Choose the people you hang out with to suit your needs.
Laugh - Much like smiling, laughter is a great way to overcome physical and emotional challenges. If it does not happen naturally, try laughter therapy.
Get a move on - Being physically active makes you happy. Find some activity you like to do and notice how it changes your mood: sex (yes, of course!), any kind of sport, dance and yoga. Make a habit of being active in any way you feel like.
Get creative - Creativity is a great way to find happiness. Think of creative things people do for a living or as hobby and notice how much happiness it gives them. Paint, draw, dance, sculpt, do some craft, invent a gadget, cook something new, write poetry or tend the garden. Tap into your creative abilities and find your “happy spot”.
Hug - Hugging is a way to give and receive happiness. Physical touch is essential to your development and hugging is a great way to get that physical touch in a positive way. Hug a lot!
When in a conflict situation, remember that being happy and being right do not necessarily go hand in hand. When in doubt, choose happiness over being right.
When feeling down, recite to yourself “This too shall pass” and imagine a brighter future.
Act like a child - Do childish things to feel young and fresh: jump on a trampoline, sit on a swing and skip. Remember, “We do not stop playing because we grow old. We grow old because we stop playing”.
Be kind - Do random acts of kindness every day. It can be as simple as saying something nice, offering help, giving up your place in a queue or allowing another driver to enter a busy road.
Be grateful - Practice gratitude: say thank you for everything you have and appreciate in your life. Gratitude is a way to increase happiness and eliminate taking life for granted.
Meditate! - Find a relaxation you feel comfortable with. Meditation relaxes the mind. You can listen to music, use crystals, take a bath, use candles or repeat a mantra. All of these do the same thing to your mind. Take the time off every day to regenerate yourself.
I Googled a few tips on how to happy, and starting tomorrow, I will do at least two on the list of ideas.
You should too!
Smile a lot - If smiling is too hard for you, take a pencil and hold it with your teeth. There are enough smiling muscles involved for your brain to think you are smiling and start producing “happy” chemicals.
Sing! - Singing works just like smiling, causing your body to produce “feeling good” chemicals. Sing in the car, sing in the shower, sing when you prepare dinner and sing when you feel frustrated and notice how the negative feelings melt away.
Hang around positive people - Having happy people around you will make it easy to learn happiness. Happy people have fun around them and their ability to overcome challenges is higher than that of unhappy people who tend to lay blame and feel victimised. Choose the people you hang out with to suit your needs.
Laugh - Much like smiling, laughter is a great way to overcome physical and emotional challenges. If it does not happen naturally, try laughter therapy.
Get a move on - Being physically active makes you happy. Find some activity you like to do and notice how it changes your mood: sex (yes, of course!), any kind of sport, dance and yoga. Make a habit of being active in any way you feel like.
Get creative - Creativity is a great way to find happiness. Think of creative things people do for a living or as hobby and notice how much happiness it gives them. Paint, draw, dance, sculpt, do some craft, invent a gadget, cook something new, write poetry or tend the garden. Tap into your creative abilities and find your “happy spot”.
Hug - Hugging is a way to give and receive happiness. Physical touch is essential to your development and hugging is a great way to get that physical touch in a positive way. Hug a lot!
When in a conflict situation, remember that being happy and being right do not necessarily go hand in hand. When in doubt, choose happiness over being right.
When feeling down, recite to yourself “This too shall pass” and imagine a brighter future.
Act like a child - Do childish things to feel young and fresh: jump on a trampoline, sit on a swing and skip. Remember, “We do not stop playing because we grow old. We grow old because we stop playing”.
Be kind - Do random acts of kindness every day. It can be as simple as saying something nice, offering help, giving up your place in a queue or allowing another driver to enter a busy road.
Be grateful - Practice gratitude: say thank you for everything you have and appreciate in your life. Gratitude is a way to increase happiness and eliminate taking life for granted.
Meditate! - Find a relaxation you feel comfortable with. Meditation relaxes the mind. You can listen to music, use crystals, take a bath, use candles or repeat a mantra. All of these do the same thing to your mind. Take the time off every day to regenerate yourself.
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
Monday, August 31, 2009
Useless knowledge - #3
Mario, of Super Mario Bros. fame, appeared in the 1981 arcade game, Donkey Kong. His original name was Jumpman, but was changed to Mario to honor the Nintendo of America's landlord, Mario Segali.
It's me.....Mario!
It's me.....Mario!
Saturday, August 29, 2009
Friday, August 28, 2009
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
As seen on TV!
While flipping thru the channels on tv, I notice there were several paid programming shows on. The names of the shows were:
Ultimate Edge - Tony Robbins
Total Gym
Get Youthful Looking Skin
Rock Hard Abs
Food Lovers for Life - How to eat lean
Relieve Back Pain
Get Gorgeous, Luscious Hair
Magical New Slimming Jeans! (I ordered two pairs).
Maximize Brain Power
End Obsessive Worry (which made me worry that I was obsessing over these shows).
Supermodel Skin Secrets
Ultimate Home Gym
and
Shop Erotic
This got me thinking: The world must be full of insecure, fat, overeating, in pain, balding, fat jean wearing, stupid, obsessive, acne faced, lazy whores.
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